The “No No Nos” of the office holiday party – Mary T. O’Sullivan

By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL, contributing writer on business and leadership

“Office holiday parties can be a minefield of professional and social taboos. You don’t want to be a stick in the mud, but there’s definitely such a thing as cutting too loose.” – Chris Wade, in Slate

Happy Holidays have come to the workplace, and don’t the lawyers all know it. The law firm, Bowers, published guidelines for holiday party behavior. The first line is “Being on your best behavior doesn’t only apply to children”. Imagine, a law firm bringing holiday office behavior to our attention, warning that “Santa still says, No, No, No” at the annual holiday party as they offer counsel on the “Dos and Don’ts” of office holiday party decorum. They preface their advice by advising us to hold career-saving and publicity free holiday parties to avoid embarrassment and ultimate regret.

You Better Watch Out

Bowers has cleverly presented their holiday party guidance in terms of the famous Christmas song “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, starting with “You better watch out”. They remind us that the holiday party is still a professional work event, and that calls for your best professional conduct. The message hits home when we realize that the examples they give are based on actual cases that came before them each December and January. In one case, a female attendee noticed that the windows were covered with wrapping paper and the security cameras were also obscured. Alcohol flowed freely, and she was shocked to witness her boss vomiting into a trash basket and his wife vomiting into the bowl of guacamole the female employee had brought to the party. She also observed sexual misconduct going on, and the next day reported it to HR. Consequently, she was harassed and eventually fired. She sued for wrongful termination and won the case. Not exactly the way to have a happy holiday!

You Better Not Cry

In a recent case in the United Kingdom, a court ruled that if employers provide unlimited, free alcohol during a holiday party, they can’t hold employees to the same standard of conduct they would expect at work. ADP reports that it’s best to provide a drink ticket system for attendees included in the ticket price. That way, people will limit their alcohol intake, especially if they believe the company is providing the drinks for free. People are unlikely to overindulge if they are paying for libations themselves.

You Better Not Pout

Offices parties are designed for fun and to support closer team relationships, so enjoy yours. This time of year, spread cheer, not gloom. The holiday party is a fun occasion, not a time to complain about your boss or his lazy secretary or spread gossip or ill will about other members of your team. Stay positive, eat your food, and relish your free cocktails. Leave the spicy gossip and complaining about what’s not working at the door. Remember, this is the season of “Good Cheer” and “Goodwill” toward all. And keep in mind the lyrics of “Silent Night”, “all is calm, all is bright”.

You better not shout… I’m telling you why…

Avoid the “Bad Santa” Syndrome. In a recent Forbes survey, 43% of respondents said that alcohol was necessary to make the office holiday party “bearable”. However, the results also found that “loudmouth soup” escalates your chances of behaving in a way you’ll regret in the morning. Stay away from controversial topics which lead to heated, loud arguments. You’re there to have fun, not cure all the world’s biggest political, economic, and climate problems.

Let it snow… oh no, no, no!

Although 21% of employees surveyed by Forbes reported that they needed both drugs and alcohol to enjoy the company holiday party, using illegal drugs is a big no, no! For the temporary high it provides, using cocaine or oxy drugs may bring on more undesirable behavior than you thought, and if your boss finds out, you could lose your job. Besides, if you are caught with illegal drugs at the party, you could also be arrested. Not the way to celebrate with your co-workers. If you feel the urge to get high, stay home from the party, and preserve your dignity.

Don’t overshare!

Your holiday party is a professional work event. Keep it that way by not revealing personal information about yourself or your family members Not only do you give up your privacy by blabbing about your family troubles like divorce, alcoholism, or your relative’s sexual orientation, but you open yourself up to the rumor mill. You never know who’s listening, and who can use that private information against you, and even worse, who decides to post what they hear or saw on social media. Oversharing in public usually only leads to career and/or personal disaster. Employers may want to ban photographing or recording at the party to avoid the terrible embarrassment posting on social media can cause. Many organizations use a professional photographer in order to avoid unwanted social posting.

What’s Naughty and Nice?

Santa has a long list of what else is naughty and nice, mostly to do with inappropriate dress, kissing, inappropriate touching, and dancing with other staff members and clients, discussing religion or politics, exchanging inappropriate “Secret Santa” gifts (now is not the time to shop at the “adult bookstore”).  Many publications and surveys suggest that employers also provide safe, sober transportation home for employees.

Have Smaller Gatherings During the Day

As a solution to avoiding the “naughty” behavior at these gatherings, organizations have shifted from the standard evening party with drinking and dancing to a sedate luncheon, either in house or at a nice restaurant, with the boss footing the bill. A daytime event with limited alcohol, restricted seating and no dancing is a formula for a successful, safe, and sober holiday party that everyone can enjoy. The boss can show that he has class and appreciation, and everyone returns to work without shame or remorse. Smaller settings have proven to engender better comportment on the part of all at the annual holiday party. Google, among others, has encouraged to hold parties by team, automatically cutting down on the number of people attending.

Be Mindful

Although you don’t have to attend the annual holiday office party, unless you have a good excuse, you don’t want to be the Scrooge. Go and have fun, talk to people show that you can be social, but remember the rules. Err on the side of caution and have a merry, responsible, heedful, and sober holiday celebration.

‘‘’Tis the season for office holiday parties. It’s also the season for some employees to make jackasses of themselves…’- Michele McGovern in HR Morning

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Mary T. O’Sullivan, Master of Science, Organizational Leadership, International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, Society of Human Resource Management, “Senior Certified Professional. Graduate Certificate in Executive and Professional Career Coaching, University of Texas at Dallas.

Member, Beta Gamma Sigma, the International Honor Society. Advanced Studies in Education from Montclair University, SUNY Oswego and Syracuse University. Mary is also a certified Six Sigma Specialist, Contract Specialist, IPT Leader and holds a Certificate in Essentials of Human Resource Management from SHRM.contributing writer, business leadership.