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Driven to the edge – the contemptible practice of Quiet Firing – Mary T. O’Sullivan
By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL
‘In a worst-case scenario, quiet firing happens when managers allow employees to have truly toxic or miserable experiences at work as a way to squeeze them out. It’s a form of gaslighting.” – Gallup
When clients come to coaching after quitting or being involuntarily “downsized”, I always ask if they ever noticed the “handwriting on the wall”. I’m usually met with quizzical looks, as they are convinced that they had no thoughts of leaving the organization or being swept away by a “routine” Reduction in Force (RIF).
After some contemplation, their eyes open, and they begin to admit that there were signs that they just didn’t register, like a spouse that can’t believe their significant other has been unfaithful, but after the fact, it all suddenly becomes crystal clear.
According to the HR website, Built In, quiet firing is like “slow playing in poker, where a person bets weakly or passively despite their strong hand — essentially bluffing the other players.” And that is the essence of understanding and interpreting the handwriting on the wall, the messaging may be written in hieroglyphics. It means, suddenly, you are persona non grata on the job.
Maybe it’s due to a merger, management change, or a reorganization, but inexplicably, your performance reviews change for the worse, promotions and advancements are off the table, your raise is reduced or even set to zero, the most boring, mundane work becomes your daily challenge, and new, unexpected obstacles slow down your progress. Even worse, your workload becomes impossible with tasks you’ll never keep up with.
You start to dread work every day. Your stress levels are off the chart. Your spouse and associates urge you to leave. However, you still think you can rise above the miserable conditions and come out unscathed at the other end. Maybe that’s true if you have a “hero” or a “godfather” or “godmother” somewhere in the organization. However, if you haven’t cultivated those relationships because you’ve been too busy working, it’s likely that your manager wants to see you go out on your own. Managers know that there is just so much a person is willing to tolerate before a health problem or their patience propels them to go elsewhere.
You may wonder why in the world would an organization cast misery on their employees. The famous answer from the movies, is “it’s nothing personal, it’s just business”. Why would an employer end a training program, delay projects, ignore promises made, or just cease supporting their employees? If you think about what propels any employer, it’s always the bottom line.
When you dwell in the hell that is quiet firing, after your departure you won’t qualify for a severance package or unemployment. You can’t sue the company unless you have explicitly detailed documentation kept over many months and your filing for a claim falls within the statute of limitations for claims with the EEOC. And if the organization has strung you along for a lengthy period, they save money on an expensive recruiting and hiring process. So quiet firing advantages the employer and saves them investment in you before you quit, and whatever duly earned recompense owed you after. Those months or years of being excluded from your team, unfair or unequal treatment, and lack of support or coaching, won’t pay off for you. All signs point to the exit.
Avoiding quiet firing
How to avoid the victimhood of quiet firing? Build significant relationships with upper management. They often will intervene and help move you to another department. Engage your one over one managers. In one case, the one over one manager helped the employee exit with an excellent severance package, including retraining benefits and three months of executive coaching.
Document every incident that takes place indicating you are being singled out and treated differently. Challenge your manager when you feel unfairly handled. You may need to involve the ethics department or outside counsel for clear direction on your next steps.
Don’t waste time believing things will eventually get better or that you can wait it out. Often, these perpetrators last longer than you think. You will be long gone and discover that the people who quiet fired you still work at the organization, years later. It may be a shock, but it’s one lesson people need to learn to accept. Best to capitalize on your situation and forget about the nightmare you’ve just lived through. Often, that is the hardest part.
“Quiet firing is a form of passive-aggressive workplace bullying, in which a company makes an employee’s life so difficult that the employee eventually quits.” – Forbes
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Read all Mary’s columns here: https://rinewstoday.com/mary-t-osullivan-msol-pcc-shrm-scp/
Mary T. O’Sullivan, Master of Science, Organizational Leadership, International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, Society of Human Resource Management, “Senior Certified Professional. Graduate Certificate in Executive and Professional Career Coaching, University of Texas at Dallas. Member, Beta Gamma Sigma, the International Honor Society. Advanced Studies in Education from Montclair University, SUNY Oswego and Syracuse University. Mary is also a certified Six Sigma Specialist, Contract Specialist, IPT Leader and holds a Certificate in Essentials of Human Resource Management from SHRM.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marytosullivan/
www.encoreexecutivecoaching.com