Business Monday: The Importance of Listening – Bob Salvas

by Bob Salvas, contributing writer

You’ve probably heard the old saying “God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak” (a quote often attributed to the Greek philosopher Epictetus).

In very few places is this more important than in networking.  Let’s face it, networkers like to talk.  But REAL listening is a skill that can quickly build those business relationships we are seeking in more ways than we could ever realize.

REAL listening includes the signals that we are listening.  Nodding, smiling, acknowledging verbally are all parts of this process.  But the most critical thing is to make eye contact.  Have you ever been chatting with someone at a networking event and that person was constantly scanning the room rather than looking at you?  Chances are that made you feel they were only talking to you until someone ‘more important’ came along.  When you engage in a one-to-one conversation, you need to be 100% engaged.  The person you are listening tocould be a tremendous connection for you- treat them that way.

You may already know how important this is, but it is not that easy to accomplish.  Networking events have lots of people and distractions and our human tendency is to notice movement going on all around us.  It takes real focus to tune out the world and REALLY listen.  But if you can do it, the benefits are amazing.

“There is no mystery about successful business intercourse. … Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you…” Charles W. Eliot, Harvard president

When we think of communication, we often think only of verbal communication.  But when you are IN PERSON with someone else, it is a fact that non-verbal communication is often more important than the words you are saying.  THAT is why networking IN PERSON works so much better than virtual networking.  The non-verbal component helps you to build a genuine relationship faster than by any other means.

“When networking in person, you are able to see body language, hear tone of voice, and read facial expressions, all of which are valuable cues in understanding a person. So, when you meet someone in person, you can establish a deeper connection than you would through an online interaction.” -Forbes Magazine

So, here is the bottom line when you network in person:

The last one is a simple secret to better non-verbal communications.  Happiness shows up as positive body language.  Imagine that?  Being happy can make you more successful!  And guess who controls YOUR happiness?  YOU!

“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.” – Dale Carnegie

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Bob Salvas is a business advisor, a professional development manager for the RI Builders Association, and the coordinator of 4th Monday Networking.  You can contact Bob via email: [email protected]