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When a Co-Worker is Toxic – Mary T. O’Sullivan
By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL
“Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.”— Robert Tew
A toxic work environment debilitates people. Studies prove that toxic workplaces lower productivity, impede morale, destroy employee engagement, and damage loyalty. Some people may mentally remove themselves completely from the negative atmosphere and show up to perform at a minimum level because they believe they have no other alternative, (also known as “Quiet Quitting”). Many times, people elevate their complaints to management, only to have their grievances ignored.
In one case, a teacher felt threatened by a student in her class. The student obtained the teacher’s cell phone number and began to harass her continuously. She documented the behavior and reported it to the school administrator, who did nothing. The teacher became so upset that she is on the verge of quitting due to the noxious and potentially dangerous environment and lack of support. The leadership of that organization failed this teacher and others like her by allowing bad behavior to continue, actions which could go beyond threats.
People working closely together in offices often experience a toxic workplace. In a local, large, major employer, the environment in one department was toxic to the point of being dysfunctional. A male employee regularly used every conceivable foul word ever uttered, within earshot of at least 5 other employees. Most of these employees brushed it off and even laughed at the antics. However, the one female employee in the group objected to the unacceptable language and complained to her manager. The manager, who happened to be “friends” with the perpetrator, did nothing. The swearer suffered no consequences. But the woman who complained was summarily punished by the perpetrator when he sabotaged her work by hiding it where it could not be processed. Eventually, the woman quit that job, unable to sustain working in such a toxic environment.
Managers also unwittingly create a toxic atmosphere when they allow people more authority than they deserve. It’s most challenging in small offices comprised of only a handful of people where everyone knows everyone else’s business. A recent client relayed a story about drama in her workplace that she, the leader, had let go too far. Regrouping after the pandemic became challenging because she had “cross trained” her people. Once back full time in the office, people overstepped themselves, and injected often unwanted opinions into areas that were not their expertise yet had temporally performed during the pandemic. The manager had become a little too close with some of her direct reports and felt that she was powerless to rein them back into their roles. She likes her people and realizes now that she created a problem. One employee challenged her, and the manager did not know how to approach the problem. This person was her best and most valued employee. This employee also regularly picked on another, lower-level employee, and brought her complaints to the manager, whom she considered her “friend”.
With all the negative interpersonal dynamics, the office productivity plummeted. They were not making their numbers, employees withheld cooperation and collaboration, and she knew she was at fault. She resisted the obvious solution, to get rid of the toxic person. But with a personal relationship at stake, and fear of losing her best worker, she was paralyzed into inaction.
Family-owned businesses also are breeding grounds for a toxic workplace. Grievances initiating outside work manage to raise their ugly heads in the office, especially when the founder dies and leaves the business to children. I’ve coached a number of leaders in family businesses, and the infighting and backstabbing among family members shocks the system. Sabotage happens regularly. Policies and procedures are ignored. Every day in the office becomes nightmarish for no other reason except sibling and in law rivalry. In one family-owned business, the owner and his brother-in-law came to blows and had a fist fight on the premises. Introducing grudge matches and bitterness into the workplace impacts other workers not part of the family. They have to witness and work around family dissention. It’s no wonder all these places had high turnover rates, which they couldn’t understand. No one wants to work around constant bickering and nastiness. Better to find somewhere else to work.
In fact, according to a recent MIT study, “toxic work culture is the number-one reason people cite for leaving their jobs”. Unless you have nerves of steel or can mentally remove yourself from the negativity, a toxic work environment can ruin your physical and mental health or drive you away from your chosen job. Toxicity drives good people away, because in today’s tight labor market, there may be a better, more pleasant place to go.
“To the “like it or lump it” workplace philosophy of the past, workers are adding a new option: leave it.” – Mark C. Perna in Forbes
Connect with Mary:
www.enncoreexecutivecoaching.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marytosullivan/
Read all Mary’s columns here: https://rinewstoday.com/mary-t-osullivan-msol-pcc-shrm-scp/
Mary T. O’Sullivan, Master of Science, Organizational Leadership, International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, Society of Human Resource Management, “Senior Certified Professional. Graduate Certificate in Executive and Professional Career Coaching, University of Texas at Dallas. Member, Beta Gamma Sigma, the International Honor Society. Advanced Studies in Education from Montclair University, SUNY Oswego and Syracuse University. Mary is also a certified Six Sigma Specialist, Contract Specialist, IPT Leader and holds a Certificate in Essentials of Human Resource Management from SHRM.