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What makes motivation so hard? – Mary T. O’Sullivan
By Mary T. O’Sullivan, MSOL, contributing writer
“A persistent strong desire pushes your goal into manifestation.” – Remez Sasson
Motivation, as a coaching topic, stymies almost every client. People want to improve, get things done, and move forward with their lives and careers, but can’t seem to take the needed steps to begin. Lack of motivation has always existed in the world of health and fitness, and now, with such focus on mental health, awareness and mindfulness have joined the activities people now procrastinate about.
A recent client sought a way to integrate her meditation practice into her daily life. When asked what she gained from meditation, she remarked that calmness, peace of mind, and serenity were her goals. She reiterated that she could not find any time during her busy day to wedge meditation into her life. She didn’t want to get out of her warm bed in the morning, and with a full-time job and small children, the day escaped her without her time for peaceful reflection. We discussed several other methods to meet her goals, such as set an alarm, walk outside, and demonstrate gratitude and appreciation. However, none of these options appealed to her. She wasn’t willing to explore different ways to accomplish the same thing. She was set on finding time to sit undisturbed and meditate, and unwilling to consider the best, most efficacious way to achieve that goal.
Her ostensible resistance and inflexibility showed that the obstacle to her meditation practice was in fact, herself. It appeared that she set an unrealistic goal of 20 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time every day. With her very active lifestyle, she was setting herself up for failure. She would not accept any other way to achieve her goal and was reluctant to cut something else out of her life to make the time. Regardless of how many solutions existed in the universe, she would only accept her own. In the sage words of the great Dr. Phil, I wondered, “And how’s that been working out for you?”
Motivation is often the precursor to change, and we know people don’t like change because it thrusts them into the unknown along with the emotion of fear, fear of the unknown. The question, “What would it be like for you to try something different?” challenges people. It forces people to project themselves into their future and challenge their imaginations. When someone’s mindset shuts down, it’s the coach’s job to gently probe for possibilities. However, if the client is unwilling to move beyond their current state, reaching their desired outcome often results in disappointment and frustration. It becomes difficult to influence their attitude when they cling to a single solution.
Conjuring up motivation takes effort and planning. It’s important to be flexible and accept that the road to the stated goal can be bumpy, and it’s okay to try another direction to get to the same place. Even a modern GPS comes equipped with alternative routes. Staying stuck in circular arguments about why a certain method is better than another is like being on a hamster wheel where the scenery never changes. There may be a way off the wheel, but wearing blinders, and by rejecting possibilities, the road will always seem endless.
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.” – Gloria Steinem
Connect with Mary:
www.encoreexecutivecoaching.com
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marytosullivan/
Read all Mary’s columns here: https://rinewstoday.com/mary-t-osullivan-msol-pcc-shrm-scp/
Mary T. O’Sullivan, Master of Science, Organizational Leadership, International Coaching Federation Professional Certified Coach, Society of Human Resource Management, “Senior Certified Professional. Graduate Certificate in Executive and Professional Career Coaching, University of Texas at Dallas. Member, Beta Gamma Sigma, the International Honor Society. Advanced Studies in Education from Montclair University, SUNY Oswego and Syracuse University. Mary is also a certified Six Sigma Specialist, Contract Specialist, IPT Leader and holds a Certificate in Essentials of Human Resource Management from SHRM.