The Good, the Bad & The Ugly…

Opinion – This week in Rhode Island

The Good, the Bad & The Ugly…

The Good

Adult & Youth Sports – Our sportswriter, John Cardullo, writes about the numbers of adults playing adult softball. Jeff Gross, our contributing writer, writes about outdoor activities from hunting to fishing to shooting, involving youth as well as adults. So, guess what? There are many people out there that are not stuck in front of video games, or television, or I-phones – or walk around with their earbuds in – they are engaged, making lifelong friends, and playing sports in chilly weather, learning new skills, getting exercise and endorphins that make all the challenges in life easier to shoulder.

Storm the Bastille! Or, the secret hiding room of the US Congress. Kudos to the Republicans who stormed down the circular staircase into the classified private room to demand the impeachment hearings open the doors and disclose everything they are doing. Existing rules say members are allowed to come in – yet this isn’t happening. Elected officials who did get in used the “secure phone” to call their staff and instruct them what to tweet out. Opinions, or not, the process should be open to all. Redacted copies won’t cut it – the stakes are just too high.

The Bad

It’s a funeral. Of a wonderful man, Elijah Cummings.

Speakers? Former president Barack Obama, former president Bill Clinton, presidential runner, Hillary Clinton, and Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. We hold our breath that a man’s most solemn moment does not become a political grandstand. Knowing what Cummings’ life mission was, maybe he would have smiled at it all, though, making his last positions known in a most dramatic way. Rep. Cummings funeral, in Baltimore, will be this morning.

Our language.

Did a swear word ever enter your vocabulary – and all of a sudden it’s being said more and more? Bad habits sneak into our lives to stay. Snap at someone – a loved one – an employee – and tell them how you really feel? A rush of adrenalin trumps a rush of regret. The problem is it can become a habit. We see it more and more in society, in the workplace, in our political speeches, no less. We remember a professor at URI who was a mystery novel writer. His method was to put a large jar on his desk, and he had to come up with a quarter for every swear word – his chosen one was the “F-bomb”- that he said in class. His students helped him keep his pledge. We don’t need more laws to do this. There are easy ways to get hold of your language and behavior before your whole personality changes, and you begin to live up to the low expectations you have for yourself.

The Ugly

Getting old.

Have you ever heard anyone say it’s a good thing? But, in some Rhode Island facilities, it can be a downright ugly thing. We’re talking about nursing homes. It’s not about just caring for “a body” – it is about quality of life – stimulation – activities. Having your nails done – or watching a football game on Sundays. Respect. If you are moving someone’s wheelchair or reclining bed-chair, you don’t come up on it from the back and drag it backwards. Quality adult diapers eliminate accidents; cheap paper-thin ones, don’t. Music and art and sensory stimulation mean everything. Sitting in a row of chairs with walkers staring at a television and only moving to go from one meal to the next does not. Food served on real dishes, not clunky heavy melamine, and soup spoons, not teaspoons, for soup, are more ways to respect the lives that silently sit with others, holding all those rich stories inside eyes that are quietly holding them inside. The activities directors are key. If you are moving a loved one into a facility, talk to them, watch them – is there a gleam in their eye and are they energetic? Do they address the residents by their names? Is coverage on the weekend a complete facility staff, or is it per diems, who do the best they can but don’t know the patients. Remember, residents don’t get days off. As one generation helps another age, and placements are often inevitable for them, and one day for us, we look at what is there for us all. While there are some gems, we have far to go, and we know it.