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GriefSPEAK: On the Road Again: March of the Elephants – Mari Nardolillo Dias
April 24, 2026/
by Mari Nardolillo Dias, EdD, contributing writer on grief and grieving
“The future’s unwritten, the road is wide” – (inspired by Joe Strummer from The Clash)
A few months ago, I authored an article entitled “What Grief told me to write.” The result was my newest book. A Memory of Elephants. (now available in both Italian and Spanish). A labor of love, my goal was to author a book that allowed children to tell the story rather than be told.
I never mention grief. At the outset, there are four elephants. A few pages in, there are three. Of course, this was intentional. Where did the fourth elephant go? Who are these elephants? The responses continue to astound me, as children project into the story. These projections are based on their own personal context. The child explains that the elephants are a family of mother, father and two sons. The elephant missing is the youngest who died because he couldn’t breathe.
The child that retorts that it is a family, a mother, father, daughter, and grandmother. The missing elephant is the grandmother who died because she was too (so) old.
The four-year-old who explained that it was two mothers, and two sons. The missing elephant was one of the sons. “He fell because the snow was slippery and he didn’t notice the tree branches and rocks. He tripped and hurt his leg. He can’t get up. The family doesn’t notice that he is missing and continue on their way. I could regale you with hundreds of these stories, but I suspect you get the point.
Each one of these examples tells the listener what the child is thinking and feeling. How many children do not notice the missing elephant? Thus far – none. Whether they can add or subtract, they notice. How many adults notice the missing elephant? About 50%! They are still trying to “figure the story out”- children don’t “figure out” it comes naturally.
Recently I began using the book with kids in therapy. It’s just so humbling to witness the awareness and insight. I sigh. A good sigh. I am so pleased. The book has taken me to other unanticipated venues, including professional development seminars for Academic Year 2026-2027, designed for teachers grades pre-K to grade 5. I hope to include many school districts, as well as Hasbro Children’s Hospital and Ronald McDonald House.
If you are interested in hearing more about the book, strategies in working/living with grieving children, I invite you to mark your calendars. I know it’s a terribly busy time of year for teachers and parents- thus, the early “heads up.” You may find me at the following locations (several more TBA).
These events are free and open to the public as I read, sign and encourage questions. Hope to see you before the summer begins!
NOTE: If your favorite library is not on the current list, please feel free to reach out to them and request an event.
Healthtrax Gym
2191 Post Road
Warwick, RI
May (TBA)
Marian K. Mohr Library
1 Memorial Avenue
Johnston, RI
Tuesday, June 2026
5:30 pm
Maury Loontjens Memorial Library
35 Kingstown Road
Narragansett, RI
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
2pm
North Kingstown Free Library
100 Boone Street
North Kingstown, RI
Tuesday June 18, 2026
6:30 pm
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Access all of Dr. Dias’ columns at: GRIEFSPEAK
Dr. Mari Nardolillo Dias is a nationally board-certified counselor, holds a Fellow in Thanatology and is certified in both grief counseling and complicated grief. Dias is a Certified death doula, and has a Certificate in Psychological Autopsy.
Dias is an Adjunct Professor at CCRI, and Professor of Clinical Mental Health, Master of Science program, at Johnson & Wales University. Dias is the director of GracePointe Grief Center, in North Kingstown, RI. For more information, go to: http://gracepointegrief.com/
Posted in Dr. Mari Dias, Health