It is what it is: Commentary on Nov. 12, 2025 – Jen Brien

by Jennifer Brien, commentary, contributing writer

MY FRIEND IS DYING

Hey gang I have so much to say this week about everything IN THIS WORLD,  but I’ve decided to spend my time here writing about a few things that have been making me THINK and breaking my heart. This is not meant to be depressing, though death and sadness isn’t a trip to Disney. It’s just part of the human experience and it’s hard. Terribly hard… but, I hope it resonates with you. That’s my goal each week as I sit down to write. I hope to connect with you in my own weird way. I hope I do that.

As we speak, my friend is dying. She has stage 4 pancreatic cancer and isn’t going to be on earth that much longer. She texted me for the last time on November 2nd as she was failing and on hospice care. We were planning for me to visit and have more late night talks in between on the phone. Last time we talked on the phone she asked me “what was my purpose in this crazy world”.  I said “honey… I can’t answer that, but…you have no idea how many lives you have touched”… I didn’t know what else to say.

Anyhow,  I got home from running and grabbing lunch when I saw her message and I texted her back saying “hey…” tell me when it’s a good time to call and I will”… I waited… Sunday came and went… I waited a little longer and then texted again… and waited… Monday came and went….

I texted one last time and said “thinking of you and I love you – tell me when to call”…. of course, my mind was racing, and my heart was like a lead weight. I was so worried and helpless and sad. Another day had passed and finally her daughter reached out and told me she was unconscious and hadn’t been awake for days. This is why I never heard back from her. She also told me before she fell into this unconscious state that she was talking about how excited she was that I was making the trip to see her. That made me cry because it’s such an unbelievable gift that God gave me.

It’s been over a week and she’s still not awake and it’s simply a matter of God’s timing now…. ….which is always perfect. God’s timing is ALWAYS PERFECT. His ways are not our ways.

“My God Jen, this is SO DEPRESSING” you might be saying right about now. “OH WELL” I say. LIFE can be depressing. I’m keeping it real. I’ve always done that with you whether I’m doing radio, a podcast, or writing a column.

I’m telling you this story for a few reasons, actually, so there is a point to all of this. Teri is the 4th person I’ll not be able to say goodbye to before their passing that had a HUGE IMPACT on my life. Peggy (an elderly woman I cared for and was my friend) was the 1st. My father was the 2nd. Ron was the 3rd and now Teri is the 4th.  I drive around in my Jeep talking to God about this and I say “why Lord?… why is THIS happening THIS WAY AGAIN?” I haven’t gotten any answers… and I cry. I weep in my car where I can feel vulnerable safely before I have to face the world again once I get to wherever I’m going.

GOD hasn’t given me any answers. NOTHING. ZILCH. ZIPPO… NADA… IT just keeps on happening and it’s horrible…but I trust him. I TRUST HIM WITH IT ALL. Not just some stuff…

ALL THE STUFF…. So, there’s that point I’m trying to make.

The second point is… you really never know when your life will change dramatically, and people disappear. We take way too much for granted and somehow think we are immune to the madness of this life… but, we are not.

Don’t put off making that call. Going to visit a friend or elderly person. Don’t hold grudges and fight over stupid crazy politics. Don’t not say the sweet and tender things you long to say that’s sitting in your heart because you’re scared to put it out there. Don’t be a “tomorrow” person. Don’t believe time is on your side. Though the Rolling Stones sang that anthem loudly, it’s not true. We don’t know anything about tomorrow… and can barely get through today.

This is the fourth time I haven’t been able to  look someone in the eyes and say “hey… I’m here and I love you”…

So my second point is… don’t believe you can put off the important stuff for another day. Because tomorrow may never come. I don’t want you to grieve the way I am.

My heart is crushed…but that’s my path.

I love you guys enough to NOT WANT you to put on these shoes. It’s incredibly heavy…

I’m running out of friends.

Love yours. Love them BIG.

In summary:

TRUST GOD WITH IT ALL…

AND

DON’T BE A TOMORROW PERSON.

That’s all I got this week gang.

“IT IS WHAT IT IS”.

___

Till next time,

Jen

Jen Brien has over 20 years of radio broadcast experience having hosted shows on WPRO and WHJJ with Ron as well as her own shows on WRKO and WBZ in Boston, WXTK on Cape Cod and WHAM in Rochester, New York. Jen was born and raised in Woonsocket and served six years in the Army MP Canine  Unit.

To read more columns and commentary by Jen, go here: https://rinewstoday.com/ron-st-pierre-jen-brien/