“Dear Dee…” Guilty about losing touch, and lies at work.

By Donna Rustigian Mac, “Dear Dee” Advice Columnist

Dear Dee – Episode 10

Well hello—it’s Dee…with your communication advice for the week…so you can speak your truth, be clear, honest, forthright and influential. Let’s create healthy human connections….and trusted relationships in your personal and professional life.  

Have you listened to the Q&A on audio?

Dear Dee,

My grandparents live on the west coast while I’m in the east. I haven’t really been talking with my grandparents because I’ve been so busy. But I’m starting to feel guilty for not reaching out as much. I also feel as though I should make an effort to visit them. What should I do?

Guilty Grandson

Dear Grandson,

Let’s wipe that word guilty out of your vocabulary. The people we love are our responsibility so listen to how you’re feeling because, as I’ve mentioned before, our bodies communicate.

If you’re feeling pulled to connect with your grandparents, go for it! You can begin to explore a possible visit, perhaps flying out to see them and what that would entail.  In the meantime, start reconnecting today by getting them on a call–maybe on zoom or facetime.  Tell them about your life and of course, ask about theirs.  Considering we’re several months into Covid 19, they’ll probably be thrilled to hear from you—and it will be healthy for all of you. 

According to a groundbreaking Harvard University study called Second Generation, healthy relationships protect our bodies and our brains. The great relationships we have with others not only add to our quality of life, they help us live longer. 

So, Grandson, begin to incorporate and nurture healthy relationships into your life now. Your grandparents will reap the benefits today. You will benefit forever.

Dear Dee,

My co-worker has been lying to my boss about certain things that could cost the company a lot of money. I want to tell my boss, but I don’t want my co-worker to hate me. How should I communicate this to my boss or co-worker?

Torn Professional

Dear Torn,

I recommend you dig into this problem quickly and act fast. Begin by communicating with your colleague about the specifics of what you know and the ramifications to the company. Then, based on how the company is being affected, give it a little time to see if your co-worker will come clean or change what they’re doing so the company stops losing money. If your colleague does nothing, it’s your job to make your boss well aware of what’s going on.

You say you don’t want your co-worker to hate you, but I must tell you that that is a possibility. They may lose their job, get demoted, have to pay back what was lost. But you need to take care of you and work diligently on behalf of the company that’s providing your livelihood.

An employee in your position may be viewed as a trader by a dishonest colleague. But will be viewed as a leader, someone who has high integrity and courage to make the right choices.

Donna Rustigian Mac is the Founder and Chief People Officer at iVoice Communication, dedicated to creating healthy human connections through high level effective communication.

Donna is an executive communication coach workforce trainer and motivational speaker with more than 3 decades of experience.

Donna is also the author of Guide to a Richer Life, Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice and Speak Your Truth and the creator of The Six Pillars of Effective Communication.

Donna’s undergraduate degree is in Liberal Arts and Humanities. She has also studied psychology at Lesley University, with Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence), and is a certified mindfulness teacher with continuing studies at Brown University’s Center for Mindfulness.

During her career, Donna has partnered with Clear Channel Communication and The Speech Improvement Company, the oldest speech communication company in the United States. Clients include Merrill Lynch, Cambridge Associates, The Massachusetts Banker’s Association, CVS Health and many others.

In addition to her work, Donna is an avid runner, skier, gardener and the mother of two kind, strong and successful millennials who have the great ability to communicate!