It is what it is – Dec. 18, 2024 – Jen Brien

by Jennnifer Brien, contributing writer, commentary

CRAZY $H!T I DO AS AN “OLDER PERSON”…

 TURN MY CAR RADIO OFF TO SEE WHERE I AM GOING WHEN LOST

JUDGE MY NEIGHBORS AS “SQUALOR LIVING DYSFUNCTIONAL MESSES” IF THEIR TRASH BINS ARE OUT FOR MORE THAN 1 DAY AFTER COLLECTION

TALK TO COMPLETE STRANGERS AS THOUGH THEY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS AND NEVER TAKE THE HINT WHEN THEY TRY TO END THE CONVERSATION

CANCEL LOTS OF THINGS AFTER 5PM IN THE WINTER BECAUSE “I DON’T LIKE TO DRIVE IN THE DARK”

PEEK OUT MY BLINDS LIKE “GLADYS KRAVITZ” LOOKING FOR HOOLINGANS AND SHENANIGANS

BRING MY OWN SNACKS TO THE MOVIE THEATER IN ZIPLOC BAGS HIDDEN IN MY PURSE BECAUSE I’M NOT SPENDING $8 DOLLARS ON A BOX OF “SNOWCAPS”

PUT EVERYTHING IN ZIPLOC BAGS

YELL “HOW IGNORANT… WHO WOULD DO THIS??” REALLY LOUD WHEN I SEE A PILE OF DOG WASTE SOMEONE NEGLECTED TO PICK UP ON MY DOG WALKS, THINKING THAT PERSON COULD BE SOMEWHERE IN MY CURRENT PERIMETER

HAVE AN “EMERGENCY CAR KIT” IN MY JEEP, COMPLETE WITH SANKA INSTANT COFFEE, TERMINATOR SUNGLASSES AND “GEE, YOUR HAIR SMELLS TERRIFIC” SHAMPOO

TALK TO MYSELF ALL DAY… EVEN IN PUBLIC. FULL BLOWN CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF IN PUBLIC 

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO BRING A SWEATER WITH ME WHEN I LEAVE MY HOME “IN CASE IT’S COLD” AT MY DESTINATION

WEAR MY GOOD “BLOUSE” ON SPECIAL OCCASIONS

WILLINGLY GO TO BED AT 7PM

(WHAT do you DO??? LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW!)

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DRONES=?

With all the talk about DRONES, UFOs, and weird things happening in our skies over the last month, I really started spending time thinking about ALIENS, FALLEN ANGELS, and some of the movies/documentaries that are out there telling us about stuff that is or could potentially be floating around space. I have said all along, on my old podcast with Ron, my radio shows over the years and in print, I DO believe in ALIENS, BIGFOOT, YETI and all that insanity. YEP, I DO. So, I’m not really sure what to make of all of this.

It could be ANYTHING. ANYTHING!!!! BUT, WHAT IF these are beings responding to our call out to them? DID you all know we actually did that?  WE SENT A CALL OUT TO ALIENS? Yes, we did. In 1974 scientists sent out the “ARECIBO MESSAGE”. The broadcast from the ARECIBO RADIO TELESCOPE in Puerto Rico, the message consisted of 1,679 bits arraigned into 73 lines of 23 characters. The message was transmitted in binary code (a universal language used for coding in computers).

Once decoded, the message showed a stick figure human, our solar system, OUR DNA, and the telescope it was being transmitted from. BUT NOW, despite warnings from the late physics professor, STEPHEN HAWKING, not to GIVE PRECISE DIRECTIONS TO OUR PLANET… scientists went and did EXACTLY THAT. NOW these damn things can MAPQUEST their way to EARTH. WHAT THE HELL!!!! Scientists said, “we beamed a radio message into deep space that revealed earth’s location and hopes it will be understood by an alien civilization”. SO, gang, we are sitting ducks. Just to reiterate, HAWKING said, if you come into contact with these things… run. THEY WILL NOT BE FRIENDLY. I’m listening to that guy. He was kinda weird, BUT wicked SMOT. just sayin…

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WHAT THE HELL IS FIGGY PUDDING ANYWAY? (KNOWLEDGE IS POWER)

“According to NPR, figgy pudding also called “plum pudding” isn’t PUDDING AT ALL! At least, not the kind AMERICANS think of when they hear the word and, it contains neither figs nor plums! In its most basic form, figgy pudding is a steamed, often domed shaped cake made with ALCOHOL AND DRIED FRUIT. The first version of FIGGY PUDDING surfaced in Britain in the 14th century as a stew with meat, fruit and wine. In the 15th century, this mixture was stuffed into animal casings to make sausages! By the end of the 16th century, figgy pudding had transitioned to a fully sweet dish – right around the same time carolers started singing “NOW BRING US SOME FIGGY PUDDING”…

 TO QUOTE PAUL HARVEY… “AND NOW YOU KNOW THE REST OF THE STORY”  

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HOLD THE MAYO

HOW MUCH MORE CAN NEW ENGLAND PATRIOT FANS TAKE of this guy? A serious question FOR FOOTBALL FANS, AND ONE Bob Kraft BETTER consider very seriously if he doesn’t want to destroy the organization that became a monster success after rescuing it in the 1990’s. I, for one, have been saying all along Jerod Mayo IS A POSER AND FRAUD. Many people agree, others are apologists and excuse machines for the guy, but in the end, the proof is in the FIGGY PUDDING. COACH MAYO cannot coach.

Last week’s game was such a wart on the nose of the organization that MAYO’S job is in jeopardy. Ya, you think? Now listen, a lot of you reading this who are NOT PATS FANS probably assume I’m a whiney spoiled brat just pissed we are not winning anymore. HONESTLY, THAT’S NOT THE CASE… ENTIRELY! You can’t win every game or every Super Bowl. Obviously, we get that… but this team stopped being competitive the minute BRADY left, and it’s been a total S— SHOW from that point on. ALL WE WANT as fans, at this point, is to compete and look like A FOOTBALL TEAM. Not a haphazard undisciplined bunch of guys who look like the players from that movie “WILDCATS” before GOLDIE HAWN took over as coach. I mean, let’s keep it real.

The PATRIOTS are pitiful… embarrassing… and really, unwatchable. If BOB KRAFT doesn’t admit his “GUT” was wrong on this one and keeps him on for another LOSING SEASON…, he’s going to lose a crap ton of money. PEOPLE WILL STOP SHOWING UP.  You couldn’t PAY ME to go see that sorry excuse for a team right now. I know THOUSANDS of people who feel exactly the way I do. SO, HOLD THE MAYO… WE AS FANS ARE BEGGING YOU MR. KRAFT… HOLD THE MAYO… and in the meantime – GO BILLS!

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THE LITTLE LIGHTS AREN’T TWINKLING, CLARK

LAST THOUGHT FOR YOU ALL THIS WEEK. Do the people who have homes that look like CLARK GRISWALD have some kind of “agreement” with the electric company?  Not for nothing, but some of these homes look INSANE! Their yards are all jacked up with CHRISTMAS LIGHTS and music… and inflatables etc. etc… Don’t get me wrong… I LOVE IT! But how the hell are they paying their electric bills???? I literally leave my heat on 58 ALL WINTER and wear 3 layers in my apartment and read by candlelight. DON’T THEY KNOW the rates went up 42% last year?  HOW!!!! Are they still eating and paying their bills and putting gas in their cars? I just don’t get it!  ANYWAY, gang… one week from today SANTA will have come!!! CHECK OUT NORADSANTA.ORG if you’ve never seen it! YOU can track SANTA ALL OVER THE WORLD and there’s a countdown and games happening leading up to his departure!  I check it out every year 🙂

ENJOY THE HOLIDAY RUSH, GANG!!!!!!  THE RACE TO THE FINISH HAS BEGUN!

Till next week folks… and remember, “IT IS WHAT IT IS”…

Jen

P.S leave your comments on the bottom of this column! Find me on FACEBOOK AT Jennifer Brien, or email me [email protected]

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Jen Brien has over 20 years of radio broadcast experience having hosted shows on WPRO and WHJJ with Ron as well as her own shows on WRKO and WBZ in Boston, WXTK on Cape Cod and WHAM in Rochester, New York. Jen was born and raised in Woonsocket and served six years in the Army MP Canine Unit.

To read more columns and commentary by Jen, go here: https://rinewstoday.com/ron-st-pierre-jen-brien/