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“Dear Dee…” Help me focus and communicate. How to give feedback to the boss!

By Donna Rustigian Mac, “Dear Dee” Advice Columnist

Dear Dee – Episode 11

Well hello—it’s Dee…with your communication advice for the week…so you can speak your truth, be clear, forthright and influential. Let’s create healthy human connections…. and trusted relationships in your personal and professional life. 

Have you listened to the Q&A on audio?

Dear Dee,

Are you able to provide tips for helping me refocus and communicate better with family and colleagues especially during these stressful times?

Unfocused

Dear Unfocused,

Begin by understanding the detriments of being unfocused and distracted.

When it comes to both family and colleagues, if you’re consistently thinking about something else, it could severely hurt your relationships. That’s what happens when people aren’t present with others. Distraction causes people to feel unseen, unheard and devalued. You could also miss some very important details if you stay unfocused which could make you lose precious time and money.

If you don’t yet have a mindful practice, consider one. Over time, mindfulness could help you sharpen your focus plus provide other health benefits. Now we’re not talking meditation…. mindfulness is awareness of what your mind is doing at the present time. When you catch yourself thinking about the past or worried about the future, just notice it. Then, do your best to focus on one thing for a few seconds like your hands or feet or an object.  When your mind wanders, and it will, just gently bring it back to that object. This is the practice that strengthens that mind muscle as you continuously bring it back to present.

Try this for a very short amount of time, several times a day and see what happens. You might also want to focus on your breathing, the air and oxygen that’s flowing through.

At work try not to multi-task. And when you’re with family, work diligently on being a better listener. All these recommendations will work towards becoming more focused but it’s up to you to find the time and implement.

Dear Dee,

I have a boss who plays favorites and it makes staff feel very uncomfortable – both those who are aware of her favoritism towards them and those who are aware they are not a favorite based on interactions with her. Any ideas on how to address this or offer feedback with my boss, as one of the favored employees? I am afraid the team is being divided rather than united, which only hurts feelings and company culture.

Casey

Dear Casey,

I applaud you for taking on this challenge—so many others would just stay silent. As you prepare to provide this feedback to your boss, remember it’s important to speak her language.

So find some private time and get to the point quickly. You can discuss the hurt feelings and company culture but add some facts about what happens when favortism I have a boss who plays favorites and it makes staff feel very uncomfortable – both those who are aware of her favoritism towards them and those who are aware they are not a favorite based on interactions with her. Any ideas on how to address this or offer feedback with my boss, as one of the favorited employees? I am afraid the team is being divided rather than united, which only hurts feelings and company culture. – Casey 😉

Dear Dee is published every week. To send your “Dear Dee,” question – in complete confidence – just email: Dee@iVoicecommunication.com – Put “Dear Dee” in the subject line. Please keep your information private in not identifying specific people – and sign your note with your initials or as you would like it to appear – such as “Perplexed in Providence”.

This is Dee, signing out for today, creating healthy human connections through high level effective communication. You can find me at iVoiceCommunication.com. That’s the letter i…Voice Communication.com