It is what it is – Jen Brien

by Jen Brien, contributing writer, commentary

“LONGTIME COMPANION”

When I was growing up in the 80’s the AIDS epidemic was gripping the nation. It was decimating the gay community and there were real deep divides as to how to handle all that went with it from every angle. People were afraid to touch, hug or kiss gay people. Young kids who had AIDS because of blood transfusions were shunned and ostracized at schools (RYAN WHITE) and infected gay drug addicts who shared needles were spreading AIDS around the addicted community and into the straight community as well.

The disease was ruthless, didn’t discriminate, but mostly ravaged the gay community. It was called “THE GAY PLAGUE”. It was a scary time for a lot of people, and I’m not being dramatic. Papers said, “the disease was poorly understood by the general public” and many people suffered alone, and died alone. It was devastating. Many of my gay friends died and at that time I really felt that the community was being demonized and shunned and as a young person with the kind of heart I have I wanted to stand up for, and give a voice to, those that were being mistreated and left to die.

I wore my KEITH HARING AIDS AWARENESS t- shirt proudly and really felt in my heart this was an important cause worth fighting for and risking things. Whatever those things might have been. I remember the MATTHEW SHEPARD murder and wrote a huge piece for the college newspaper on that sick violent crime. I cried for days after that horrible story came out. I hated how the gay community was targeted and treated.

Fast forward to 2024. The gay community has gone from fighting for causes truly worth effort and time to fighting for extreme ideas about gender, children, sex and children and has turned into a group I just can’t support anymore. It used to be “GAY people are people”. They deserve rights, and opportunity, and compassion, and are just like any other American who chooses to love who they love, different from who you might choose to love. Now, it’s SUPPORT ALL RADICAL AND EXTREME ideas they have about anything, or be labeled a homophobe which is ironic because they hate labels, or so they said for so very long.

In my opinion, the community has morphed into this bizarre place that shuns its own where there was once unity, passion, integrity and a will to work hard on causes that would benefit future generations. This current generation seems to want to make noise for the sake of making noise, desires above all else TO BE SEEN and rather than practice what they preach regarding inclusivity and tolerance, they go out of their way to create a kind of “shock and awe” that even old timers in the gay community have come to criticize.

In 1989 I was so moved by a film that was released entitled “LONGTIME COMPANION”. I actually bought a copy at BLOCKBUSTER and own it to this day. It’s a look into the heart of the gay community during the AIDS epidemic and humanizes their suffering. Campbell Scott plays the lead and is phenomenal. I suggest younger people watch what a real fight looks like. Watch that film. Synthetic anger based on fetishes or fake drama drummed up by a soft gay generation who wants to screech and flop every time someone calls them the wrong pronoun is getting exhausting. Asking not to be demonized but demonizing people is problematic.

Back in the day people genuinely believed in what they were fighting for. There were no cell phones to capture those moments or use a crisis to become “Instagram famous”. We didn’t hide behind masks, protest for a cause, or be provocative and then try and gaslight our way out of it if it wasn’t received well. If you want to stand for something, make sure you have the GUTS and balls (SPEAKING TO DRAGS) to really STAND for something. NO MASKS. NO BLAME SHIFTING or HISTORY REVISIONISM. I don’t know what you all are fighting for anymore, it just seems like all you want to do is pick a fight and offend ANYONE… and then get it on social media quicker than the tears that fall when you hear a stirring rendition of “SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW”. Just my 3 cents, gang. 

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IF I COULD JUMP IN A TIME MACHINE

I’D go back to a time without all this technology but sneak in Clorox wipes to clean the handle of the pay phone at PORT AUTHORITY… gross!

I’D enjoy my time in HIGH SCHOOL and actually study

I’D go visit my GRANDPARENTS every weekend

I’D make sure my dad brought his KODAK camera and flash bulbs to the first FOOTBALL game he ever brought me to

I’D make my CONFIRMATION

I’D go with my mother when she divorced my father

I’D tell a younger me don’t take drugs or drink booze

I’D make sure on MARCH 10th I’d call Ron and tell him what A GOOD MAN I thought he was (A PAIN IN THE A$$…BUT A GOOD MAN)

I’D call my FATHER on JULY 30th, 2020; to tell him how much I loved him

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME? (Share at the bottom of column in “comments section”)

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WACKY OLYMPIC FACTS!

The OLYMPICS used to take place over 6 MONTHS!

THE OLYMPICS were banned for over a THOUSAND YEARS!

ARTISTS used to compete in the OLYMPICS

SOLID GOLD medals stopped being produced in 1912

FIGURE SKATING was once part of the SUMMER OLYMPICS

THE TORCH RELAY was invented in NAZI GERMANY

WALT DISNEY was chairman of the OPENING AND CLOSING ceremonies for the 1960 WINTER OLYMPICS

THE 1936 BERLIN games were the first LIVE BROADCAST on closed-circuit television in GERMANY

LIVE pigeons were used for ARCHERY in the 1900 games

ATHLETES once competed naked 

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WHY DO PEOPLE TRY SO HARD TO BE SEEN THESE DAYS?

If you go on any SOCIAL MEDIA platform there are so many people just itching to be SEEN or “SEEN AS” something by complete strangers. Yes, it’s true, there are super talented folks out there who use social media as a way to get noticed because that’s the way in. I get that. I do. BUT… then there’s people who think we want to see all the food they are eating, the awful 10-inch gash pic on forehead while laid up in the emergency room, the EXTREME FACE CLOSE UPS revealing mad nose hairs near the new nose ring (those should be outlawed)…. OMG the FEET pics. WOMEN love posting pics of their feet by pools after pedicures… (AWFUL)… and pics of themselves looking HOT (or so they think) after squeezing into an outfit that used to fit from 1985… I MEAN… just WHY?

AND don’t even get me started on the folks who go on social media CHRONICALLY telling everyone about every zit, headache, life challenge, dust up, bout of diarrhea, nosebleed, and doctor visit. I can’t. It’s so strange to me. I literally hate social media. I rarely use TWITTER…. barely use INSTAGRAM and use FACEBOOK to post news stuff I think people might miss. WHY would I let everyone know I peed when I sneezed yesterday at 5:37am, after a walk with my dog? That’s not news… that’s a trip to CVS for some POISE PADS. Hey, people these days seem to be really in need of attention, and I don’t get that.

THE ABSOLUTE worst offenders of this are the folks who do good stuff in our communities but let everyone know they did it. OPRAH did this at a MAUI wildfire shelter in 2023 after the devastating blaze and was trying to bring her film crew in as she passed out pillows. JUST WHY? That made me sad. The shelter said “NO” thankfully… but just WHY, OPRAH? Why does everyone seem to need attention from strangers but then go home and bury their face in video games or books or the news forgetting they have a wife, 3 kids, and a dog? Hey, maybe it’s really important for you to showcase your talent for plate spinning on roller-skates to Harry down the street who lives over on BIRCH LANE… SPIN AWAY. Maybe he has connections to the CIRCUS coming to town next month… what do I know…….

That’s all I got this week gang… “IT IS WHAT IT IS”

Till next week,

JEN

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Jen Brien has over 20 years of radio broadcast experience having hosted shows on WPRO and WHJJ with Ron as well as her own shows on WRKO and WBZ in Boston, WXTK on Cape Cod and WHAM in Rochester, New York. Jen was born and raised in Woonsocket and served six years in the Army MP Canine Unit.

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