It is what it is – Jen Brien

by Jen Brien, contributing writer, commentary

TIP THIS!

HAS anyone had it with this RIDICULOUS tipping scheme going on EVERYWHERE? Everyone wants extra for doing the absolute minimum or, simply put, for doing the job they were hired to do. Why am I tipping you for handing me my gallon of milk after you scan it… and why are self-checkout machines asking how much do I want to tip them? Who am I tipping? I’m doing all the work at self-checkout.  A few drug stores actually ask when it comes time to pay, “Do you want to help disabled people today?” WAIT… WHAT? How can you say “NAH” and not seem like a total jerk? BUT that’s the SCAM. GUILT GIVING!  BUT my personal fav is the PET STORES  who now ask, “Do you want to help animals who can’t help themselves?” WAIT one minute. I did not sign up for mental gymnastics when I just wanted to go grab “FIFI” some “Chuck Wagon”. It has to stop. Oh, and where is all the “extra” going? Well, we may never know. They never specify a charity but they sure as hell figured out how to maximize the “guilt SCHEME”. IT’S AWFUL. Pay attention, folks. Email me or leave a comment on my column if this has happened to you.

I CAN’T QUIT YOU, TOM

Why is everyone getting all hot and bothered about Tom Brady teasing that he may want to come back out of retirement… AGAIN. Yea, yea, I know, It’s pretty exhausting. I mean, TOM, how can we miss you if you won’t go away? It’s like the last CHER tour where she CLAIMED “IT’S HER LAST time touring”… “EVER”… no. “LIKE EVER, EVER” – and it went on for 4 years. That farewell tour went on for 4 years. AND THEN! She goes back on the road and DUPED US ALL! BAM! She’s belting out “HALF BREED” in Vegas! Here’s the thing – Tom Brady is the GOAT.  If  this guy says he can play, and wants to play, LET HIM. Who cares! The Patriots sure as heck need a QB, and he would single handedly fill that stadium and NE fans could once again get excited about football. While it’s true, we had a bad breakup… time heals all wounds…. well, mostly. Fact is, we are desperate. Give “MAYONNAISE” (What movie people?) a shout. Evidently it’s a collaboration now!

SUNNY HOSTIN 

You can’t make THIS UP. This lady said THE recent ECLIPSE was caused by “CLIMATE CHANGE” and CICADAS are emerging for mating season after 17 years because – the earth is hot. YUP. I think I’ll just leave those two right there. 

UP IN SMOKE

Is it me, or does it literally smell like WEED everywhere you go. Walking the dog…. driving the car… at the park… AT MY GYM! (now, how are you gonna go for a run after just smoking a blunt?) WEED, WEED EVERYWHERE. I was headed down a highway in RI the other day and saw a HUGE SIGN that said “WEED DRIVE THRU”. Back in the day you found some guy named “LOUIE” on LINCOLN ST. He was your WEED DRIVE THRU. Then again, making a phone call was a dime, and a pack of Marlboro REDS were 1$… ahhh, the good ole days.

AND, FINALLY

A BLACK WOMAN HUGGED DONALD TRUMP at a CHICK-FIL-A last week and the mainstream media went wild. I don’t know, seems harmless to me. I like HUGS. They make everything seem better. Don’t folks hold up signs that say “HUGS NOT DRUGS” or “HONK IF YOU LIKE HUGS”?  So I don’t get it. I mean, what could possibly be the problem here? (said with sarcastic wit).

Allright gang, that’s all I got… IT IS WHAT IT IS.

Till next week,

Jen

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Jen Brien has over 20 years of radio broadcast experience having hosted shows on WPRO and WHJJ with Ron as well as her own shows on WRKO and WBZ in Boston, WXTK on Cape Cod and WHAM in Rochester, New York. Jen was born and raised in Woonsocket and served six years in the Army MP Canine Unit.

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