The Station Fire. 20 years ago. “41 Signs of Hope” by Dave Kane (2 of 4)

by Dave Kane, father of Nick, and author, “41 Signs of Hope”

Part 2

My mother used to say that shock is a wonderful thing. she felt that there was a kind of foggy cocoon that encased those who had suffered serious physical or emotional wounds. She thought of it as a protective “bubble” that allowed people to appear to function normally even in the face of life’s most devastating events.

On February 22, 2003, just two days after the fire, the one-man dinner-theater show that I do, entitled Misgivings, had been booked at an Elks Lodge in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Anyone, including yourself, would have expected me to cancel that show, and frankly that’s just want I planned to do. I couldn’t imagine walking on stage and expecting my audience to ignore the dagger of sorrow protruding from my chest.

I simply could have picked up the phone and cancelled. After all, this was the worst fire Rhode Island had ever seen, and virtually everyone in this small state had been touched in one way or another by the tragedy. Certainly no one would blame me for simply rescheduling. But the more I thought about pulling out of the show, the more I thought about Nick.

Nick was a dedicated performer. He was a singer, a composer, an actor, a musician, a comedian and a playwright. Totally at home on stage, he had many talents, and he just loved sharing them. I knew what Nick would want. I decided to do the show.

Misgivings is an event with an Irish Catholic priest, Fr. Patrick Aloysius Misgivings. there is a collection, a raffle, and even a real bingo game. It’s eclectic and interactive. But when I wrote the show I felt an obligation to do more than just make it funny. I wanted the audience to leave the show feeling good, not only about themselves but about their relationship with God.

I got to the Elks Hall around 10am that Saturday. I had to bring in my equipment and set up the staging area. That done, I began running through every detail of the show in my mind, over and over. I was very tense.

During the show there’s a segment in which Fr. Misgivings talks about death. He chides those present for being afraid to die. Then he attempts to comfort the audience by telling them there’s no reason to be afraid. At the close of this segment, the script calls for me to sing HE, a song that reminds us of God’s total forgiveness. In addition to singing, I also use sign language for the deaf, to enhance the presentation.

Before the show I had to do a run-through of this song for a sound check. But as soon as I heard the first notes of the intro, tears welled up in my eyes. I tried to sing, but my voice kept breaking. I couldn’t remember the signs for the words. Now this song is brief and beautiful, but on that day, although i t seemed even more beautiful, it also seemed very long. I just couldn’t do it.

Then I heard myself say, “Okay, Nick, you’re going to have to help me on this one.” As soon as those words were out of my mouth, I heard two chimes loud and clear. I looked behind me and saw a wall clock. I thought to myself, “Oh, great! With everything else I have to deal with, now I’m going to have a clock going off during my act!”.

I asked the woman who was setting the tables if this clock was going to chime every hour.

She said, “What clock?”

“This one,” I said, pointing to the wall behind me.

She called to a guy working in the bar area. “Hey, Dick, did you ring the toast chime?”

The reply came, “Nope, I’m nowhere near it.”

It was then that I learned that this wasn’t a clock at all. It was actually an “Elk’s Lodge Eleventh Hour Toast Chime”. These chimes can be found in virtually every Elks Hall in the country. Every night, at 11 o’clock, Elks offer a toast to those members who have passed on. They ring the chime and have a drink It was a chime that could be sounded only by pushing a button. But nobody pushed the button that morning.

It was Nick, sending me the very first of many signs to come.

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