Older adults attract scammers with popularity of cyberdating – Herb Weiss

by Herb Weiss, contributing writer on aging issues

Digital technology is not just a way to find information and news, shop, or even search and apply for jobs.  For older single adults, getting back into the dating scene can be difficult. It could be after a divorce, or death of a spouse, or just deciding some years too late that having a mate is something desirable at this time of your life.

Dating rules have changed since years ago. But, since the mid-1990s, when Match.com, the world’s first online dating website was launched, millions have utilized internet dating as a way to meet potential partners without leaving their home.

Today, online dating, sometimes referred to as cyber-dating, has replaced traditional ways (like belonging to civic groups, clubs and attending church) singles use to find that special person.

Even though many might consider on-line dating a crap shoot in finding that perfect person to spend the rest of your life with, a growing number of older adults are using online dating platforms.  And many, unfortunately, are falling for online dating scams, as well.

A Snapshot of Older Online Daters

Last July, an article penned by Olivia Sidoti, research assistant, and Michelle Favero, research associate at Pew Research Center, provided an analysis of how older adults experience dating sites and apps and their views of online dating.

The data, obtained from a survey conducted in July of 2022,  was taken from a 74-page report, “From Looking for Love to Swiping the Field: Online Dating in the U.S., released on Feb. 2, 2023.

According to the Pew study, about a quarter of older Americans in their 50s have used an online dating site, compared to 14% percent in their 60s and 12% in their 70s and older.

However, just 3% of the older respondents are currently using online dating platforms or have used them with the last year, compared with 15% of those under age 50.

The Pew study found that 6% of the respondents over age 50 who were married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship, found their significant other online.

With so many dating sites and apps available to choose from, the survey findings indicate that about 1 in 5 online daters have used Tinder.

About half of the adults age 50 and over cite seeking a long-term partner or spouse as the reason they have online dated in the past year. Meanwhile, about 36% say they want to date casually, with 22% saying their motivation is casual sex.

The researchers found that women aged 50 and over are more likely than males who use a dating site or app to say their dating experiences have been negative.

About half of the online daters ages 50 and over say they have encountered someone who they thought was trying to scam them.  Furthermore, about four-in-ten online daters ages 50 and older (45%) report unwanted behaviors while seeking a date online. Specifically, they were sent sexually explicit content they didn’t ask for (33%), and 26% were continually contacted after they expressed disinterest. Seventeen percent of the older users report they were called offensive names, and 4% were physically threatened.

Protecting Yourself When Online Dating           

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly one in four individuals older than age 65 are considered socially isolated. Older adults are at risk of isolation and loneliness due to living alone, loss of family and friends, chronic illness and hearing loss.  

CDC says that there are also physical health risks as well. Those dangers include significantly increased chances of an early death, 50% increased risk of dementia, 29% increase in the likelihood of developing heart disease and a 32% higher chance of having a stroke.  

There’s a Class for that!

With so many older adults not having meaningful relationships with their family or without having a significant partner, Sun City, Arizona-based Banner Olive Branch Senior Center offered a class covering the basics of finding love and companionship online.    

“We feel this is an important topic to address because there are many seniors [in our community] who are alone,” says Jackie Cromer of Banner Olive Branch and instructor of the online dating class held last April. “It’s an approach to add some fun and excitement into their lives and allow seniors to feel connected and potentially even find love,”  she said.

The class covered which dating sites to select, how to write and choose photos for your dating profile, the best ways to find and connect with potential matches, how to handle rejection, and emphasized safety tips such as not giving personal information, meeting in a public place, transporting yourself to the date and letting loved ones know your whereabouts. 

Tips on Protecting Yourself Against Romance Scams

As a growing number of older adults go online to search for that special person, scammers take advantage of these individuals. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), in 2022 almost 70,000 people reported being a victim of a romance scam.

Be aware of “red flag” indicators of a potential romance scam, when approached on a dating site, warns Home Security Investigations (HSI), the principal investigative arm of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, noting that scammers seek to gain the victim’s trust and then provide false information or misrepresentation to gain a financial benefit.

Here is some advice from Home Security Investigations (HSI):

HSI urges older online daters to watch out for the following indicators of a potential romance scam, when a potential partner:  

• Claims they live, work or are traveling abroad.
  • Lacks proper grammar, although they claim to speak English.
• Claims to be notably younger than you.
• Quickly professes love to you.
• Has a story that is inconsistent.
• Has a minimal online presence.
• Sends general photos (mostly fake/AI generated) of themselves traveling, shopping, or dining at luxurious locations.
  • Sends or requests explicit photos or videos.
• Mentions the idea of meeting and being together soon.
• Provides periodic excuses for being unable to make a video call (e.g., Facetime).
  • If a video call happens, you’re unable to see their face clearly.
• Requests to have conversations/texts be moved to a separate app (e.g., WhatsApp, Telegram).
  Asks for money, often via non-traditional methods such as cryptocurrency or gift cards.
  • Asks if you’ve ever invested in cryptocurrency and/or foreign exchange market.
  • Sends a business link of a cryptocurrency and/or foreign exchange trading platform.
• Is combative with you or tries to divert your attention when you question their intentions.

Lastly, if your bank contacts you to express concern you are being victimized, this is perhaps the most significant red flag that you are being targeted.

You can also call the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 1-877-908-3360 to talk with a trained specialist about protecting yourself when seeking a relationship on a dating site.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match!

Many are now saying that the most successful way to find that appropriate partner is to be introduced to her/him by someone you know – be that family or friend. And, while not plentiful, and sometimes expensive, matchmaking services that match you up for a date, one on one, are around, even in Rhode Island. The good part is they will coach you on what to where, what to talk about if it’s been awhile since you had a date-convo, and if after the date, it doesn’t work out, they will handle the uncomfortableness of that conversation with the other party – and keep working on your behalf. Some matchmaking services advertise on local radio, and that may be a good place to start. All the rules of scams and checking out the company or person are still advisable, of course – ask for references!

And let us know how it goes – until then – Happy Valentine’s Day (week)!

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To read more articles by Herb Weiss, go to: https://rinewstoday.com/herb-weiss/

Herb Weiss, LRI -12, is a Pawtucket-based writer who has covered aging, health care and medical issues for over 45 years. To purchase his books, Taking Charge: Collected Stories on Aging Boldly and two sequels, compiling weekly published articles, go to herbweiss.com.