GriefSPEAK: The living Anne Frank – Mari Nardolillo Dias

by Mari Nardolillo Dias, EdD – contributing writer

It seems like a minute ago that I was cast in the role of Mrs. Van Daan in “The Diary of Anne Frank”. Our director required us to become immersed in our roles and read not just the script and the diary, but the historical articles.

Anne Frank originally liked Mrs. Van Daan. Initially, Anne was not pleased that “Father” invited Mr. and Mrs. vanDaan and their son Peter to join them in the annex. It was already a bit crowded, and they weren’t family; however, Mr. Van Daan was a long-time business associate of “Father” and the Franks felt compelled to invite them to hide along with them.

Although Anne found Peter to be quiet and timid, their relationship eventually evolved into a romantic one where Ann experienced her first kiss. My character, Peter’s mother, was according to Anne, “petty, egotistical, flirtatious, stingy, and disagreeable.” She complained loudly and often, and was very attached to her fur coat. She felt entitled.

Our director wanted us to “feel” the claustrophobic nature of the secret annex, and with that in mind  she had the eight actors who played the Jewish characters who had spent over two years in the secret annex, spend an evening in a hotel room. 

It wasn’t until I visited the actual secret annex in Amsterdam that the true reality came into focus. The exceptionally narrow staircase led to the bookcase which disguised the opening to the annex. I took note of the magazine pictures taped to the wall in Anne’s room, confirming her love of movie stars.

Anne initially shared her room with Margot. Despite our experiences in the hotel room (which was far roomier than the annex, and with better plumbing), it did not compare to the actual living conditions. As much as one can imagine living and hiding for an extended period of time in such small quarters, you simply cannot.

I do not have the words to describe or express the lack of air, of light. The lack of boundaries. I encourage you all to view a tour on YouTube, which is not the same as being there, but will give you the idea. Not the entire feeling. Not the entire experiences.

Anne died at the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp at the age of 15. Fortunately for us, Anne’s diary was saved by Mr. Frank’s secretaries, and as he was the only survivor, he published her diary, posthumously, in 1947. 

Anne’s diary has been required reading in schools for decades. Her optimism and resilience in the face of death is inspirational. Today we have Jewish people who have been slaughtered or taken as hostages. I can’t help but wonder if there is another Anne Frank among them.

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Dr. Mari Nardolillo Dias is a nationally board-certified counselor, holds a Fellow in Thanatology and is certified in both grief counseling and complicated grief. Dias is a Certified death doula, and has a Certificate in Psychological Autopsy.

She is Professor of Clinical Mental Health, Master of Science program, Johnson & Wales University. Dias is the director of GracePointe Grief Center, in North Kingstown, RI.  For more information, go to:  http://gracepointegrief.com/