GriefSPEAK: The Bracelet – Mari Nardolillo Dias

By Mari Nardolillo Dias, EdD, contributing writer

While sailing on Narragansett Bay with my soul sister and her husband, I happened to comment on his bracelet. It was a series of miniature pictures, primarily catholic saints and Padre Pio framed with wood. As soon as I commented on it, he took it off and handed it to me. “Here, take it.” I questioned his offer:

“Tommy, you don’t need to give it to me! I was just commenting on how unique and eye-catching it was!”

Tommy told me that the legend of the bracelet includes the directions that if someone comments on it, you are obliged to give it to them. Pay it forward. When I heard that, I was happy to oblige and immediately put it on my wrist. During that sail, I also received a phone call. My dear friend, Anthony, was in hospice care following a 14-month battle with glioblastoma. It turned out to be a bittersweet day, despite the glorious weather.

The following morning I made it a priority to visit Anthony, despite having to attend a wedding later in the day. When I entered his room in the nursing home, his wife and mom were there, along with his daughter. Anthony’s wife immediately commented on the bracelet and cried out “Look, Anthony, it’s Padre Poi!” Anthony could hear us but was unable to verbally respond. I told his wife the story of the bracelet and how I came to own it, and offered it to her. Just like Tommy did to me. She said, “Give it to Anthony.” I put the bracelet in the palm of Anthony’s hand. He brought the bracelet up to his lips and kissed it, and then put it on his wrist.

Anthony passed less than a week following that visit. When I approached the kneeler at the funeral home, I kissed him on the cheek to say good-bye. His wife immediately walked toward me from the receiving line and joined me at the casket. She whispered something to me that I did not quite hear. She leaned over Anthony, pulled up the cuff of the arm of his sports jacket, and showed me what she was saying. Anthony was still wearing the bracelet.

We buried Anthony the next day. He was lowered into the ground, still wearing the bracelet. The bracelet has found its forever home, never to be given to anyone else. And for that, I am grateful.

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Access all of Dr. Dias’ columns at: GRIEFSPEAK

Dr. Mari Nardolillo Dias is a nationally board-certified counselor, holds a Fellow in Thanatology and is certified in both grief counseling and complicated grief. Dias is a Certified death doula, and has a Certificate in Psychological Autopsy.

Dias was an Adjunct Professor and was Professor of Clinical Mental Health, Master of Science program, at Johnson & Wales University. Dias is the director of GracePointe Grief Center, in North Kingstown, RI.  For more information, go to:  http://gracepointegrief.com/