GriefSPEAK: Remembering until the end of time – Mari Nardolillo Dias

by Mari Nardolillo Dias, EdD, contributing writer

Some of us plan each and every detail of our Celebration of Life. Others not so much. Still others – nada. I share my clients’ sadness over a loved one’s death without any preamble, verbal or written. I admire others who have peace as they know what their loved ones wanted. Some of us complete a prearrangement with a funeral home that outlines all of our wishes. Some of us even choose our monument long before death. 

Avianna came to me over the sudden loss of her young husband. She had some indication of what Derrick wanted but had her own thoughts as well. One important detail was the monument. She knew she wanted something natural, from the earth. She wanted Derrick’s stone to reflect and actualize his spirit. The end of her search resulted in exactly what she longed for. She found a local Stone Carver.

The process was one of dignity, respect. Knowing. The stone carver had Aviana come to her home, along with her children where the carver provided a wonderful meal as she familiarized herself with the family. Following lunch, the carver took Aviana and her children to her studio. She introduced the family to the additional carvers that would be working on Derrik’s monument. Each expert has a singular job, one who is the “font” expert, another who specializes in size and message. The children shared pictures of Derrik and told stories about him – they laughed at his antics and sobbed over his leaving. Following this afternoon-long meeting, the stone carver agreed to accompany Aviana to a quarry to help her choose her stone. 

The stone carver hand carves the stone. She has completed stones throughout the world, some for people who are young, alive and healthy, but want to have a say in this, the final detail of their passing. They commissioned her to design and carve their stone. More recently, she has been working with rope carved stone.

The Stone Carver is none other than Karin Sprague of Karin Sprague Stone Carvers, Inc. located in North Scituate, Rhode Island. Karin provides a video clip of the progression of the stone on her website. She refers to her work as ‘The art of remembering.” 

The stones are hand carved with “love, compassion and a deep sense of ministry.” Karin hopes to “lift the grief”  and provide some healing. She hopes that ” families walk away from here with peace.”

I am honored to have this opportunity to introduce Karin to my grievers. Her work provides all of us with a sense of spiritual uplifting as we celebrate our loved one’s life for all to see for the remainder of time itself.

karinsprague.com – Appointment only – 401-934-3105

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Dr. Mari Nardolillo Dias is a nationally board-certified counselor, holds a Fellow in Thanatology and is certified in both grief counseling and complicated grief. Dias is a Certified death doula, and has a Certificate in Psychological Autopsy.

She is Professor of Clinical Mental Health, Master of Science program, Johnson & Wales University. Dias is the director of GracePointe Grief Center, in North Kingstown, RI.  For more information, go to:  http://gracepointegrief.com/