Exploiting Empathy – Michael Morse

by Michael Morse, contributing writer, commentary

Most of us are empathetic. It is in our DNA to be aware of another’s suffering, and to do something to alleviate that suffering to some degree. A kind word, a helping hand, a few bucks, a place to stay or providing a sympathetic ear comes naturally to most of us. We do what we can to help, and through the miracle of existence the help we extend makes us feel better.

Then there are those whose narcissistic tendencies exploit the abundance of empathy. These are the people first in line for the freebies, the grants, the assistance and whatever else they can get their hands on. Their personality disorder creates a “me first” mentality that leaves little or no room for generosity. They hoard resources, attention, power, righteousness and control as if it were theirs alone to own.

Because most people are only a little narcissistic, help does get to people desperately in need of it. Far too much time and resources are spent on far too few people though, because those people are experts at exploiting empathy. They see kindness as weakness. They see opportunity in charity. They get theirs, and truly do not care if anything is left for the truly needy.

Those of us who have spent substantial time providing compassionate care to anybody who asks are at risk of falling into a trap. Compassion fatigue has more to do with feeling abused that it does with caring too much. We can never care too much. Caring makes us human. Being abused makes us bitter, angry and disillusioned.

Empathy exploiters are crafty. They are experts at drawing out the innate empathy from people, and getting all they can from that person, leaving the giver exhausted, and empty.

When we create boundaries for ourselves we can avoid being drowned by our own kindness. There is a limit to that which we can give. Setting that limit is essential. We are no good to anybody, especially ourselves when weighed down by everybody else’s problems.

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Read more article by Michael Morse, here: https://rinewstoday.com/michael-morse/

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Michael Morse, [email protected], a monthly contributor is a retired Captain with the Providence Fire Department.

Michael Morse spent 23 years as a firefighter/EMT with the Providence Fire Department before retiring in 2013 as Captain, Rescue Co. 5. He is an author of several books, most offering fellow firefighter/EMTs and the general population alike a poignant glimpse into one person’s journey through life, work and hope for the future. He is a Warwick resident.