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“Dear Dee” – Communication and Relationship Advice
by Donna Rustigian Mac
Well hello—it’s Dee…with your communication advice for the week…so you can create healthy human connections…. that means trusted relationships in your personal and professional life.
Our first question today:
Dear Dee,
How can I politely turn down physical distancing get-togethers with a friend whose household includes three immuno-compromised individuals? What if I am unknowingly an asymptomatic coronavirus carrier? I’d never forgive myself if I made them sick or worse.
M.T.
Dear M.T.,
Well, we’ve entered a quite different time of life, haven’t we? Emotions are running higher than ever and people are in need. The majority of people need other people. Knowing this helps you, “Seek first to understand”, which is a good habit to get into according to Steven Covey’s classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
With that said, M.T., it’s a good sign that you want to communicate politely and respectfully. But keep in mind that you can “communicate respect while being direct”. To keep this friendship as strong and healthy as possible, empathetically listen to your friend who’s asking you to visit. Acknowledge your friend’s words and how they feel. Then, follow that up with something like this… “I’ve decided not to socialize (even distantly) with anyone who has a compromised immune system. I’ve decided to keep everyone as safe as possible.”
You might want to continue with a statement like, “I can’t wait till we’re through this…thank you for asking me”.
And remember Pillar #6 of the Six Pillars of Effective Communication, Detach from The Outcome.
Dear Dee,
What are some ways for newly formed teams to develop healthy and effective communication techniques?
J.M.
Dear J.M.,
Great thanks for your question. We could discuss this in length but for the purpose of this column, here are the basics.
Give all people involved ample time to get to know each other. In addition to being clear on the company’s goals, they should have a good sense of each other’s strengths……where they’ll be contributing to the success of various projects and who they can collaborate with for guidance and answers. Make sure the leaders (managers, bosses) are up to speed with their responsibilities. Typically, that means spending about 50% of their time on getting work accomplished and 50% on leading the team and growing the business. Of course, make sure you have effective communicators on each team. That includes people who can clearly speak about the work in a credible way and also effective enough to ask for what they want and need and pose the right questions when they need clarification.
The most effective teams have leaders who create more leaders. They need to communicate consistent (business enhancing) feedback, encourage feedback from their team, and know that communication and leadership are practices. That means they must be thoroughly honest with themselves, communicate consistently and make tough decisions every day on behalf of the people and the company.
Communication and Relationship Advice for the Week in Audio with Dear Dee…
Dear Dee is published every week at RINewsToday dot com.
To send your “Dear Dee,” question – in complete confidence – just email: [email protected] – Put “Dear Dee” in the subject line, and then look for your answer on Saturday. Please keep your information private in not identifying specific people – and sign your note with your initials or as you would like it to appear – such as “Confused in Cumberland” This is Dee, signing out for today, creating healthy human connections through high level effective communication. You can find me at iVoiceCommunication.com. That’s the letter i…voice communication
Donna Rustigian Mac is the Founder and Chief People Officer at iVoice Communication, dedicated to creating healthy human connections through high level effective communication.
Donna is an executive communication coach workforce trainer and motivational speaker with more than 3 decades of experience. www.iVoiceCommunication.com
Donna is also the author of Guide to a Richer Life, Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice and Speak Your Truth and the creator of The Six Pillars of Effective Communication.
Donna’s undergraduate degree is in Liberal Arts and Humanities. She has also studied psychology at Lesley University, with Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence), and is a certified mindfulness teacher with continuing studies at Brown University’s Center for Mindfulness.
During her career, Donna has partnered with Clear Channel Communication and The Speech Improvement Company, the oldest speech communication company in the United States. Clients include Merrill Lynch, Cambridge Associates, The Massachusetts Banker’s Association, CVS Health and many others.
In addition to her work, Donna is an avid runner, skier, gardener and the mother of two kind, strong and successful millennials who have the great ability to communicate!