“Dating Sunday” – it’s a thing – and it’s today.

Swipe left. Swipe right? Today is Dating Sunday – and a huge surge is expected in use of dating apps and programs. “This year, we expect Dating Sunday to be the biggest day that dating apps have ever seen,” said Melissa Hodley with OK Cupid”. Invented by the online dating companies, no doubt with post-holidays and pre-Valentines in mind, it’s here and online sites are expected to see 70% increased use today.

What happens after Christmas? Especially if you are single? The wreaths come down and the hearts and flowers go up. Thoughts of Valentine’s Day. And 2020 into 2021 – if you’re single and unattached – thoughts of being alone – as never before. Or not with the one you want to be with. Pandemic times have made those thoughts either top of mind – or completely out of mind.

But while the pandemic with its masks and social distancing, not to mention quarantines has made dating in the traditional movie-and-a-bite-to-eat or going out to a club or event seem like a completely strange thing to even think about doing. The casual weekend get-together, or liaison, almost beyond thought.

Technology has held us together with our new work-from-home habits. We’ve been ZOOM-ing from business call, to watching grandma and grandpa eat their Thanksgiving dinners, to checking on auntie in the nursing home. Technology has also held together some semblance of dating or meeting new people.

With time coming soon for us to peek out from our quarantine isolation, apps and sites such as Match, Hinge, Bumble, Tinder and OK Cupid and others expect today – Sunday – to be the biggest day they have ever seen.

Slow Dating in a Pandemic

Dating app experts have encouraged people to “have a conversation” for now – get to know people, rather than rush out for a coffee or drink. Making plans to get together “when all this is over” has allowed the longer and deeper conversations to happen. ZOOM and Face Time dates still mean taking the time to put yourself together sort of like you were going out. Makeup, hair (a little spray color works fine for those grays, ladies – and men), shaving, some jewelry, a nice backdrop, etc. A nice top can be matched with those PJ bottoms and slippers can even help the conversation take that easy-going tone and you’ll feel less like you are in a business meeting.

Increased COVID-19 testing has allowed us to test more freely, and share our results with each other. Look for proof of vaccination on apps and “papers” to help get people back in the game, face-to-face. Show me yours (negative results), and I’ll show you mine!

What we learned in the time of dating being life-threatening when AIDS first ran rampant, will help us get through this.

So – if you haven’t done the dive into online “dating” before, now might be the time. Here’s a few resources to look into. Tonight, “Dating Sunday”, is expected to peak from 7-10pm tonight.

2021 will see us begin our return to normal. Or near normal. Actually, we don’t know what to predict, but we know we should be ready if we’re single. It will be a whole new world. We’ll either put our toes into the dating pool gingerly – or we’ll dive in with a swan dive – who knows? Making predictions during these times usually means you’ll get it wrong.

Reality shows like “Married at First Sight” and lessons from “Fiddler on the Roof” (Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match…) as well as historical and religious customs of the Shidduch, or arranged marriage by a yenta (more accurately, a shadchan) closer to our new reality normal. What makes more sense than a meeting undertaking by wis(er) elders?

The “dating” adventure with marriage or lifelong commitment at the end is one thing, with a more serious tone than the casual dating lifestyle usually reserved for the young, who aren’t ready for commitments designed for life. That casualness may continue with a caution-to-the-wind attitude – almost as we’ve seen it right now on beaches and hidden clubs – pandemic or no pandemic.

List of some familiar Dating Sites:

1. Match – one of the oldest, been around since 1993, 100 million users – free and paid versions. (https://www.match.com)

2. Tinder – more hooking up than serious dating – can you say swipe left, swipe right? (https://tinder.com)

3. eHarmony – the most intense in developing the questionnaire and waiting to be matched (https://www.eharmony.com)

4.  ZOOSK – 40 million members – easy to use, good for new users (www.zoosk.com)

5. Elite Singles – says it’s for the serious daters – base is “highly educated and over 30” (www.elitesingles.com)

6. OurTime – senior singles over 50, more extensive profiles (www.ourtime.com)

7. Silver Singles – senior singles over 50, personality questionnaire and matches – like Match (www.silversingles.com)

8. Bumble – known as female-friendly site where men can express interest but can’t talk to women until they decide to accept the conversation (https://bumble.com)

9. Hinge – advertises itself for those who want to not be on it very long as they find their true love (https://hinge.co/)

10. Others – Plenty of Fish and OK Cupid seem to have gone more by the wayside – but you can check them out (https://www.pof.com – https://www.okcupid.com/)

There are specialty sites for groups by ethnicity or religion. ChristianMingle.com, JDate (https://www.jdate.com) is very popular among Jewish singles, along with many others, including ShidduchView, and ChaiExpectations, etc. There’s eHarmony Hispanic Dating, Amigos.com – and BlackPeopleMeet (https://www.blackpeoplemeet.com), MELD.com, ebonyjet.com, and others. Most sites include same sex opportunities, but there’s Chemistry.com for LGBT interested. There’s even a BENaughty, that says it’s for fun, flirtatious dating, but we won’t go down that road, but there are a lot of them.

There are free versions and paid versions of most apps. Some you can download to a computer, others just for your smart phone. In a small state like Rhode Island, you will quickly find someone you know – especially Match and Tinder – whether that’s a good thing or not is up to you.

Safety in Dating

Be Safe. DON’T: disclose where you live or any personal information that could lead to your address. While most people who use online dating, sites are probably just as normal as you are, it’s always best to be overly cautious when meeting someone new (whether you meet them online or not). DO: Take things slowly.

When we get back to in-person dating, take your own cars back and forth if you meet for coffee or an event – remember, you really don’t know who you are meeting. We’d suggest some confirmation along the way – Face Timing so you can match a real face, in real time, with a name and photo. Ask your friends. Do your social media investigation. If you feel comfortable, move ahead. If you don’t, DON’T!

Beyond on-line dating sites

The personal introduction is always best. But there are some fine personal introduction services out there. They may be pricey, and they may have shuttered, given this time of pandemic, but they’ll come out again. Think about looking into it.

Of course, the number one best advice? Tell those you know that you are available, looking, and for them to keep their eyes and ears open for the type of person you are interested in. Just like looking for a job – tell people you are looking!

If you’ve gone through this pandemic alone, living alone, without family or loved ones, you will either say – hey – I feel great about that – or – you’ll say I really miss a loved one by my side. Cuddling up on the couch, watching movies; feeling more secure knowing we are not in life alone. If you had given up on dating, or even finding new close friendships, the pandemic might just be what it takes for you to jump back in again.