Business Monday: Confidence! – Bob Salvas

by Bob Salvas, contributing writer 

“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” – Norman Vincent Peale

Confidence is a key to success in life, and an even more important key when it comes to success in business.

Confidence is especially critical when it comes to business meetings that are FACE-TO-FACE (be it giving a presentation/speech, a sales meeting, or at a networking event). Think about it: every time you are face-to-face with someone, YOU are the brand. There is no hiding behind online or offline marketing messages. You are it. This can cause nervousness and it is difficult to appear confident if you are nervous.

So how do we become more confident in these situations?

Well, the first and most important piece of advice is to JUST DO IT!  Like learning to walk or ride a bike, there is no substitute for getting out there and doing it repeatedly.   Networking events are a great place to practice your face-to-face communication skills.  You can also consider joining groups like TOASTMASTERS or BNI or TRUST NETWORKING.  These groups allow you to speak on a routine basis and the more you do it, the less nervous about it you will be.

But what are other things that can help increase your confidence?  Three things come to mind: APTITUDE, ATTITUDE, and APPEARANCE.  Let’s look at each one…

APTITUDE – Confidence starts with knowing your material.  If you are presenting something, you should know your major points cold.  Go over them multiple times until you are comfortable.

Also, as a businessperson, you are expected to know a lot about your industry, but it is also expected that you can’t know everything.  The person who cannot answer any question is seen as incompetent and the person who answers EVERY question may be seen as disingenuous (no one can possibly know ALL THE ANSWERS).  Answer questions truthfully but don’t be afraid to say you don’t know an answer and will get back to the person asking it.

With that in mind, you must embrace the concept of lifelong learning. Things change over time and you need to stay on top of those things to be seen as an expert in your field and to help continue to build your confidence!

ATTITUDE – People are attracted to a positive attitude and repelled by a negative one. A person who is confident, even if they are having a bad day or a bad month, is self-assured that things are going to get better.  So, not only is focusing on the negative stuff a turnoff for those around you, but it also suggests that you lack confidence in your own future.  Having a positive attitude goes hand in hand with confidence.

You can improve your attitude by first embracing gratitude.  We all live in a world of social media which might make it easy for you to get caught up in the negative cycle of comparing yourself to others.  Rather than focusing on them, you need to focus on you—all YOU have in your life. We all have lots to be grateful for.  I encourage you to try journaling (or just writing down what you are grateful for) and sending notes of gratitude to people who have helped you and see how quickly that can change your attitude and disposition (that is why they call it having an ‘attitude of gratitude’).

The other important thing to remember is to be around positive people.  Research shows that we all tend to take on the habits, values, traits, and attitudes of the five people we spend the most amount of time with.  Choose your inner circle carefully!

APPEARANCE – When you look good physically, it is easier to feel confident. Your grooming, your clothes and your posture are all part of the equation. These things also contribute to a favorable first impression, which is important.

You may remember the character from an old Saturday Night Live skit named ‘Fernando’ (played by Billy Crystal). He was famous for the catchphrase “You look marvelous”.  He also used to say, “It’s better to look good than to feel good”. It was funny but there was also a point to be made– if you look good, you naturally feel good…and that leads to confidence!

Fernando’s advice aside, it should be noted that feeling good is affected by a bit more than just ‘looking good’.  And it just so happens that feeling good can also make you look good!  A person in good health, who is generally energetic and happy, is someone others want to talk to. When you feel good, it affects your personality, your body language, your posture, you make more eye–contact, you have a better handshake, and most importantly, you SMILE more. When you smile, people tend to smile back which increases your confidence!

For you to feel good, it is important to practice self-care.  Take care of your body, mind and spirit.  Business people are notorious for being workaholics and not taking good care of themselves.  But in the end, taking care of yourself is more important than anything else AND can also contribute to your confidence and to the success of your business.

One final thought.  Remember that confidence is NOT a competition. It is not about “I am better than you”. It is about you being the best YOU that YOU can be and in striving for that, you in turn want to help others to be the best they can be. Confident people are givers…they NEVER suggest they are better than anyone else. They are just confident in their own abilities. The people who do act over-confidently and superior to others are not confident, they are arrogant.  And that always backfires!

“Confidence helps us act decisively to pursue difficult goals. But excessive confidence becomes arrogance. The quality that once helped us make good decisions eventually prevents us from seeing our mistakes.”

– Dr Chuck Chakrapani

___

Bob Salvas is a Professional Development Manager for the RI Builders Assn, a marketing consultant, the founder of Momentum Networking, and the co-founder of THE MARKETING CAMP, a yearly conference to help small businesses achieve success.  For more information about THE MARKETING CAMP, go to themarketingcamp.com.  Bob can be reached at 401-359-1602 or at [email protected].